#And the general sense of larger forces at work etc etc

[chronurgy]

I'd probably be less annoyed by bioware's choice to focus so heavily on a specific subsection of lore if it was a subsection of lore I actually liked

[ripplestitchskein]

I find the general idea of Stolitz being “toxic” to be fucking hilarious. It’s thrown around so easily like it should be accepted that they fit this definition and….they really, really don’t lol. Like they have a pretty chill and common miscommunication and personal issues interfering with wants and desires conflict. Like I cannot stress how fucking chill it is. They don’t actively hurt one another intentionally, neither are trying to murder the other directly or indirectly, they are not on opposing sides of a larger external conflict save for inherent world class dynamics, they don’t manipulate each other or work against each other, etc. They say hurtful things and argue and are oblivious to the other’s issues but like, in a fairly normal neurodivergence and historical trauma driven way.

They do begin with a mutually agreed upon transactional sexual dynamic, which is often the crux of these “Stolitz is soooo toxic” arguments to the point the really intense anti’s cry SA. A transactional sexual dynamic Blitz was so okay with when it is no longer agreeable to the other party, and they communicate that and change the parameters in a way that gives him full autonomy, he spends half an episode trying to return to that dynamic. Much trauma. Very coerced. 🙄

There is a power imbalance but it only exists in the sense that one person is societally more powerful by nature of his birth and ignorant to it by nature of his upbringing. Stolas does not force Blitz into said transactional sex dynamic by exerting his power or influence so it’s largely irrelevant save for how it impacts Blitz’s personal self worth issues and it is never from a place of malicious intent. Which is what matters in media? Character intent and decisions are literally the crux of the narrative?? Stolas figures out it’s a problem for the type of relationship he really wants to have and corrects it and even goes above and beyond to ensure that Blitz will suffer no fall out from his choice if he decides to not pursue their romantic relationship further. Like, toxic WHOMST? Just, don’t talk to me about toxic until they get hot and bothered about how well the other tried to actively murder them. We have had zero poisonings or major betrayals in this ship and ya’ll throwing around toxic like words have no meaning.

“But he called Blitz his impish little plaything! He thinks of Blitz as a toy! As a sub-species!” Or maybe, just maaaaybe the sexually inexperienced character who is making shit up as he goes along based on his canonically identified incorrect perceptions of what the other wants/likes as well as ignorance of his own power and position thought he was just being sexy and cute? Just maybe? Like can we apply a smidgeon of deductive reasoning based on the sum rather than the parts? As a treat.

It just speaks to what I have observed as probable immaturity/lack of life experience driving a lot of the criticism or straight up vitriol regarding the show’s major conflicts. A very black and white application of moral purity that deems anything not rainbows and sunshine as toxic and where the ultimate goal is some nebulous and frankly hella ableist concept of “healthy”.

A similar thing plays out with regards to Octavia and the classification of Stolas as a “bad parent” because he is pursuing a relationship and has issues of his own to deal with on top of parenting. Heaven forbid a closeted gay man raised in isolation going through some late in life awakenings is not perfectly navigating an ill defined relationship and a divorce and raising a child on top of his myriad of mental health issues. What gets me the most is she’s not even a young child, she’s 17 possibly even 18 at this point in the timeline but the way people act he abandoned an infant at a flophouse to get his rocks off with someone who fears he will smite them down with his incredible Goetian might and if they refuse they’ll be living out of a gutter eating dirt because they wouldn’t perform sexually for him. Instead of the in-universe reality where the most egregious thing Stolas has done is fail to consider his daughters perspective and how this impacts her, made some inappropriate sexual comments really early on in front of her when he was still excited, and forgot, during a major life upheaval, a promise to watch a meteor shower he made to her like a decade ago. He didn’t even forget the promise itself, he just forgot what day it was. Like I forget shit I promised my kids last week much less when they were like 5.

Like there is such a huge disconnect between actual toxic behavior portrayals in media with regards to relationships and parenting, or hell toxic relationships and parents in real life, and what is going on in Helluva Boss. This is ignoring the fact that the actual universe of the show, which is what should be the metric when examining character dynamics not reality, has established real toxicity in both relationships and behavior, and has shown us time and time again how that toxicity contrasts with our characters and their relationships, be it Stolitz or Fizzmodeous or Moxxie/Millie or the parenting dynamics of Blitz & Loona and Stolas & Octavia. We have examples of toxic relationships, and we have examples of toxic parents in this world and we’ve been shown that the relationships of the main characters is in opposition to them.

But even if you were to take the, imo incorrect, position of applying real world considerations to fictional worlds it still doesn’t track as toxic.

Do you realize how many sexual transactions and power imbalances occur in relationships everyday as just a matter of course?

Like “I’ll wear that outfit you like if you do this for me?” Normal, Transactional. Accepted straight couple in a sitcom premise. I would wager “I’ll preform this sex act if you do X” is said in one way or another without anyone batting an eye a hundred times a day. And that’s ignoring the implication that transactional sex is inherently problematic. It isn’t, it’s the coercive aspect that is an issue and even then we get real handwavey about it in reality when the situation isn’t explicitly coercive.

“I’m a police officer/government agent/politician/media influencer/sole household income earner that has the ability to fuck up your entire life/reputation/financial stability just by nature of my job and how well we are getting along” is perfectly fine and normal. No one would suggest that a police office or government agent can only be involved with someone of equal systemic or social power in reality. Do my partner and I have a toxic power imbalance because I am the sole working person in our household and they are a stay at home parent and I hold all the financial power? No, that’s fucking silly.

Not to be all “sweet summer children I grew up in the trenches of toxic” about it but it’s the most baffling part of this fandom that a pretty low key conflict and relationship dynamic, where neither party is actively trying to hurt the other and has approached the entire thing from a place of earnest confusion and ignorance and is working through it in a pretty normal way is classified as “toxic”. Get back to me when they are poisoning each other, have killed several of each other’s loved ones and there is necromancy involved.

[qwimblenorrisstan]

Surprise | Soap x Reader

Summary: After a mission that they barely survived, Ghost leads the team to a safe place to stay, his half-sister’s apartment.

Word Count: ~ 1.6k

Warnings: mentions of death, blood, missiles, etc

A/N: first time writing for cod…hope you enjoy, lmk what to do for part 2!! (also here is what I had in mind for the apartment layout, if you’re like me and can’t picture buildings in your head)

Requests are open!

Masterlist | Next

Their mission had gone to complete shit.

It had started relatively simple compared to the other missions they’d been doing, with Russians, cartels, Mexican forces, and whatnot. They’d been shipped out to America, a suspected terrorist group that had been working for General Barkov when he’d been killed.

A group that had now gone rogue, and rumor was that they were headed to Britain, holding a missile for transport that had been stolen from a covert American base. The Americans weren’t taking it too well, but that was to be expected.

“We don’t have enough information to know who they are, you just need to get that missile transported, and get out of there.” Laswell had told them.

“Sounds easy compared to what we do every mornin’, right Lt?” Soap had said with a grin, nudging him with an elbow slightly, and he had only given a grunt in response, still processing information.

“Easy” his arse.

Sent to one of the states at first, they’d tracked down this supposed terrorist group, apparently it being a lot larger than they originally expected. A lot larger.

It was only because of the intel Gaz had gotten his hands on that they’d been able to locate the missile while it moved, it being located in a broken-down warehouse near Galveston, Texas. Right near the Gulf of Mexico, if they were planning on taking it to sea to travel with it.

And when they’d stormed the warehouse?

A total mess. Unorganized and sloppy.

Soap had blown the door, and they’d planted charges around to detonate for the men guarding the missile but had underestimated just how many there would be. It was crawling with them, more confirmation that they’d been informed somehow beforehand of Task Force 141.

Men in vents, ceiling panels, underneath desks, and hiding behind cabinets, doors, anything.

The missile had only been taken out because of air support, the same air support that had nearly been shot down and taken out, when a heli had finally come in to reprieve them while snatching that missile up and getting the hell out of there.

That didn’t solve the problem of the men everywhere, though. The charges that had been meant to blow some to pieces had been botched, and with all the gunfire, they would attract unwanted attention. Police were already investigating, conveniently turning a blind eye to Price and the rest of his force. It wasn’t a coincidence. Not when Shepherd had a history of paying people off to keep them quiet.

But that wasn’t their problem, right now, Ghost was trying to devise a way to get them the hell out of America, or at least out of goddamn Texas. Of all the places to be stuck in.

“Laswell, where the hell is our exfil?”

He radioed over, crouched down on the roof of a building, taking out whoever he could from it. Many of the men in the terrorist group weren’t a bad shot either, so he decided to keep his head relatively low.

“Negative, Ghost.” Price’s voice responded.

“The hell does that mean?”

“We aren’t leaving. Too many men still here, Kate wants us keeping eyes on ‘em.”

“Bloody fucking hell..”

They had decided to regroup at an old church down the road, Soap was a little banged up, with more than a few cuts and bruises, and Gaz dealing with a minor head injury he’d gotten when someone had tried to smash his skull in with a gun, and Price donning a decent sized cut to the arm.

“This is a covert mission. We can’t stay at a hotel or anything of the like, so where are we going?” Gaz asked, and Price paused for a moment, looking a bit unsure, which made sense considering this had been a get-in-get-out mission before it had changed. Before he could open his mouth to speak, Ghost spoke.

“I know someone, but they’re a long ways away.”

~ 3:48 A.M.~

A knock that was more like a banging on your door woke you up from your light sleep as you quietly sat up in your bed, standing and tiptoeing over to the front door of your spacey apartment.

It was large, for the price. But considering you were working for the landlord at a local restaurant, as he was the general manager there as well, it made sense.

The apartment held two spare bedrooms, and a nice living room connected to a kitchen with a table in it you liked using. Two bathrooms, one in the hallway where your room was in, another connected to a guest bedroom. A little balcony, which came in handy when one of your friends wanted a smoke break when over at your place.

Palming the closed hunting knife still connected to your pants and hanging loosely, you figured you were safe enough to answer the door, and looking through the peephole, you saw four men.

Military, and the one in the Ghost mask…

Opening the door, your face now annoyed, you stared him dead in the eye. Didn’t even glance at the others.

“We need a place to stay. A month or two at most.”

His low and rough voice, donning a British accent, said. It was louder than you remembered him being, but then again, he wasn’t the scared little Simon that you’d known anymore, scared of the abusive father you’d both shared. He wasn’t the Simon who mumbled or spoke quietly anymore.

A silent conversation passed between you two at the door, a thick silence passing over the entire group. The other men stared. Your eyes narrowed, a nonverbal question.

Are you on a mission?

He didn’t move for a moment, no doubt thinking of the information he could share with you. Another reason for your eventual fallout, the fact that he wouldn’t ever share with you anything if what he did. It was always to keep you safe.

Eventually, he gave a tiny, near imperceptible nod. On a mission. Of course, he would come to you while on a mission, dragging you into it. It wasn’t like you were helpless against attackers, not at all, but they’d had some crazy shit happen to them over the years, and that was just from what you’d overheard.

With a resigned sigh, you looked over at the other men he’d brought.

A taller man, with a beard, and a bucket hat. He looked like he had authority. A man on the shorter end, with some scruff, a mohawk, and a poorly restrained cheeky smile. The last man was darker, an almost caramel brown, with short hair, cleanly shaven, and a hat on.

Military men, clearly, but if Simon was willing to trust them around you, then you didn’t count them much as a threat right now.

“Names.”

You said flatly, and the Mohawk-one’s brows raised before replying.

“You can call me Soap-“

“I mean your name, not your shitty military nickname.”

You interrupted bluntly, clearly not in the best mood after being woken at 3 AM because of Simon Riley. “Soap” raised his hands in a mock gesture of innocence.

“Easy, lass. It’s Johnny, if you must know.”

Scottish, then. You could tell by the accent. The taller one spoke.

“John Price.”

The prettiest of the group spoke with a little smile that could’ve fooled you for not being faked.

“Kyle.”

Giving them all one last flat, surveying look, you jerked your head into the apartment, walking in.

“Two guest bedrooms down that way, bathrooms down the hall, there’s a balcony if you want a second exit. Don’t break anything.”

You said simply, and they walked in, looking tired as hell and covered in bandages. However, you weren’t going to let this go. Not right now.

You grabbed Simon by the arm, and he stiffened, stopping.

“You and I are going to have a little talk, Simon.” You said, dragging him into your room, and shutting the door behind you as he sighed, pulling his mask off. Blond hair and lashes came into view, as well as baby blue eyes.

“What the fuck were you thinking, bringing-“

You began, pissed as hell. He hadn’t contacted you in years, not since his mom had died, and with your shared father already dead, you’d been shoved into foster care.

“We’re all injured. We can’t stay anywhere we can be easily found. This area isn’t as well registered, and we’ll be gone in a month.” He spoke simply as if it wasn’t anything to get upset or emotional about.

You took a breath and breathed it out. Stay calm.

“I’m not talking about the mission, Simon.”

He seemed unused to being called his real name. At least, by the stiffening of his shoulders, you guessed so.

“There’s nothing else to talk about.”

He said gruffly, turning to open the door and leave. You stepped in his way, and he stared down at you, unamused. You were barely 5’6, and he was 6’2, so it was quite the height difference.

“You can’t run from your problems forever, Simon.”

You said, hands on your hips, and he simply picked you up, placing you beside him as he opened the door and walked out. Always running from his problems.

It was surprisingly unsurprising.

~ 4:07 A.M.~

“You want to explain who the hell that is, Simon?”

Price asked gruffly from where they were all gathered in one of the guest rooms. Simon paused his quiet pacing for a moment to reply.

“My half-sister.” He answered, and a silence fell over at that. The only sibling they knew he had was Tommy, and Tommy was long dead at that. A few seconds passed, before Soap, in the bathroom connected to this particular guest room, combing his Mohawk and going through his haircare routine, spoke up.

“She’s a real bonnie lass.” Johnny said with a grin, and Simon sighed.

“English, MacTavish.”

“She’s hot as fuck, sir.” The Scotsman said, and there was a small, disappointed sigh from Gaz, who already knew he’d have to patch up Soap from Ghost, who was fuming silently.

[youcouldmakealife]

Stuff That Helps Me Write: Procrastination Busting (Novelty Edition)

So, last week I was talking about the interest based nervous system versus the importance based nervous system, and how people with interest based nervous systems are driven by urgency, novelty, challenge/competition, and interest, versus the more common importance based nervous system, which is driven by importance (to yourself or to others), rewards, and consequences.

I don’t know whether ADHD or autism has a larger impact on my life — they often impact different areas, and they frequently compensate for one another in the areas they do overlap, when they aren't forming an unlikely alliance hellbent on my destruction. But my writing process is 100% run by ADHD. So because these tips are the ones that work for me, and my writing process is, top to bottom, ADHD as fuck, they’re probably going to be pretty heavily slanted toward ADHD peeps, though of course YMMV.

Tackling novelty first, because, well, of course I am. This can also appear as ‘novelty/creativity’, but honestly, I think that’s a little redundant: doing, say, a creative version of a task is simply injecting novelty, and I think novelty is a much easier concept to understand for most people than creativity is. Novelty can be boiled down to single words we learn the meaning of at a young age (new! Different!), whereas creativity has fifteen different definitions, every single one of which might spark debate. So for our purposes, I’m sticking with just novelty.

Here are some ways I inject novelty into my writing process:

Roll the dice.

This doesn’t have to be dice, though the 20-sided ones are absolutely great for this. You can use decks of cards, random number generators, slips of paper, whatever — one of the best ways to make yourself do a bunch of shit you don’t actually want to is to attach those tasks to numbers (or colours, or suits, or whatever), and let fate decide. This can work in a lot of ways: you assign each task to a number, say, or you roll the dice on how long you have to work on it, or what order you’re doing them in, or whatever. I tend to be much more chill about doing a task when The Dice are the ones telling me to do it. It’s stupid. It works.

Roll the dice (pt 2)

This is also a fun way to create prompts: say each number is a character. You roll the dice: okay, I’ll write about David. Now I’ve associated the dice with a word, or a concept, or whatever. Okay, David and touch. Insta-prompt, no creative thinking required.

Prompts

Speaking of prompts and lack of creativity: I have tricked you all. Oh ho ho. You think you are getting a fill to a prompt you want to see (and, admittedly, you are, as long as I haven’t wandered off course, which cannot be guaranteed), but in return I am getting writing ideas without actually needing to have them! I don’t think I would be able to write 100+ stories a year if I had to think up every single idea myself, but if you outsource the creativity — well, win-win. Someone gets their prompt filled, and I get the spark of inspiration I need to fuel my writing.

Obviously this one needs to be adapted just a bit for other scenarios, but you can gather inspiring things (lines from books, poetry, lyrics, whatever) for future inspiration, you can look for online writing prompts or tell yourself you’ll write to fill a category (senses, say, or seasons, or elements, etc etc). Basically, if you don’t know what to do, forcing yourself to respond to a prompt, or follow a theme, often provides just enough constraints for creativity to happen.

When you’re stuck, move on to something else

It’s very common productivity advice to focus on just one thing and do it start to finish before you move on to the next. Don’t do it.* It’s a trap.

I do agree with the ‘one task only’ advice inasmuch as multi-tasking… doesn’t actually exist (if we’re talking something like ‘writing and listening to music’, or ‘doodling during a lecture’, that can go great, but that’s not really multitasking, so much as adding complementary stimulation. If you’re trying to, say, write an essay during a lecture, at least one (and probably both) of those tasks will suffer.) but beyond that, no.

It’s probably great advice if you’re neurotypical but I genuinely cannot think of a worse suggestion for anyone with low frustration tolerance and fucky dopamine. I hit an obstacle in that ‘just one thing’ I am doing? Cool, great, guess it’s time to stop doing it forever.

If you’re working on several different things (especially if those things use different skills and/or headspaces), when you get stuck on one, you can pivot to work on something else and let your subconscious do all that cool underrated stuff in the background, and maybe when you return to it you’ll have figured out a way around whatever your obstacle is. And even if you haven’t, at least your frustration tolerance will have been reset.

If the project you’re doing isn’t working for whatever reason, especially if you’re growing frustrated (nothing good ever follows after the point you snap at your blameless computer), do something else, and come back to it when you’re in a better headspace. Some things you have to muscle through for various reasons: say, you procrastinated on it and it’s due tomorrow. But most things you don’t. So don’t.

*I’ll straight up say I can ‘do just one thing’ for longer periods with less stress now that I’ve been medicated, but it was an awful, painful process when I wasn’t, so I still don’t really recommend it for those who have fucky dopamine.

Do! Multiple! Projects!

Yes, this can bring us to the ‘start 17 projects and finish none, don't you dare look at my WIP folder’ ADHD trap, but there’s a pretty good place between extremes. The main reason I work on multiple series at a time (plus outtakes!) is so that if I’m stuck on one, or it’s not inspiring me, or I’m just not in the right mood, I don’t have to stare at my blank screen feeling like a complete failure, I can just scoot on over to work on something else that's calling to me. Do I always do the most important thing? Or the one that’s due next? Or even the one I want to work on? Perhaps not, but I do spend the vast majority of my writing time actually writing, which is more than a lot of people can say.

It helps to have projects in different areas of your life and different stages of completion, for extra variety (and therefore novelty), just beware the ‘I have 5% left of this project to do, shouldn’t take more than 7 years’. When you do reach that final stage, that is when it’s a good idea to get laser focused on ‘just one thing’.**

**Big caveat with the above tips on NOT focusing on 'just one thing' is that I’m specifically referring to ‘typical’ tasks, not hyperfocus. If you’re hyperfocusing on something, and it’s not hurting you (ie keeping you from feeding yourself, basic self-care, sleeping, genuine obligations, etc), you ride that high as far as it takes you, baby. The ability get 5 days of work done in 5 laser focused hours would cost a fortune if they could replicate it, by all means use it to your advantage. But you do need to rest and recharge after: it drains the hell out of your mental resources and cannot be depended on indefinitely. It’s the very best tool in my toolbox. If I use it without allowing myself to recharge I will lose access to it indefinitely.

Change something about the process

It doesn’t need to be a big thing. I can switch from using my laptop to writing by hand. Or write in my bedroom rather than my office. A lot of my internal resistance to tasks is ‘this is boring’ — I’m lucky that doesn’t often happen with writing, because it’s inherently interesting to me, but sometimes you’re just stuck, and a change of scenery, of tools and equipment, of context (say, go write the POV of another character if you're stuck on a scene) is enough to shake the blah. I’m going to go into that in a lot more detail when I hit ‘interest’ and ‘challenge’ because those are both great things to inject when things have gone stale, but a lot of the time, it doesn’t matter what the change is: the fact there was a change is enough.

[licncourt]

hi!!! i'm new to tvc and your blog so im not sure if this has been done yet but :'D i just wanted to ask your thoughts on akasha, even generally speaking? thanks!

Welcome!!! I have lots of thoughts on Akasha, but mainly I think her existence tells us a lot about the author and provides a lot of context for how AR approaches female characters in the series overall. I think Akasha, Claudia, and Gabrielle are a very succinct look at how Anne viewed women and the archetypes she felt existed within womanhood. Akasha is really the final boss of anti-feminist strawmen, written to be the ultimate evil and Bad Woman, but she just kind of ends up being an almost-compelling female character instead.

I think Gabrielle has strong elements of that, but the fact that she was so heavily inspired by AR's mother softens the narrative to her some despite the bitterness there. Akasha is something else though, and the narrative on a meta level does not seem to feel sympathy for her.

AR obviously had a very complicated relationship with her own womanhood and a virtually unshakable "not like other girls" mentality her entire life. It was some truly breathtaking internalized misogyny or maybe even a case of gender dysphoria that turned toxic. I doubt we'll ever know for sure, but that loathing she seemed to feel towards womanhood is very much on display in QotD.

Looking at the book as a female reader, I can't help but feel sorry for Akasha on some fundamental level despite the absolute evil she also commits. She was a queen, but doomed to be subservient to her husband on the basis of gender. Then, through some incredible accident, she's suddenly the most powerful human being there's even been, only to then be tortured and spend thousands of years internally conscious but unable to move, speak, or do anything at all.

It's almost an Eve story, a woman who is designed to be a man's inferior who instead seized knowledge and power (and the narrative), gained autonomy from and influence over her male counterpart, and then was punished for it by the larger forces at play. In some ways she reminds me of Claudia too, driven insane by her circumstances and unable to comprehend her own monstrosity, but she's also more evil than Claudia was ever capable of being due to her age (torturing and ordering the rape of of Maharet and Mekare, forcibly turning Khayman, etc).

If Anne had left it at that and changed her goals to be less grandiose, I think her character would have read better and been a more complex and convincing villain in the evil-but-a-victim-of-circumstance way that so many VC vampires are. That's one of my favorite things about the original VC vampires that was present in Akasha but not executed with quite enough finesse. Instead, I think Anne takes it way too far into cartoonish hatred for feminist stereotypes.

For most authors I wouldn't feel confident saying that was the intention but AR, if nothing else, aggressively involves her personal feelings and beliefs in her work, often to the detriment of the story. VC is just the fictionalized inside of her head and we know that. Combined with her other female characters and her own public statements, it's hard not to eye roll at the climax of QotD when Akasha decides she's going to kill 90% of human men and turn the Earth into a new Eden with her as the goddess for the human women (and male human chattel).

In that sense of her character, it seems like foreshadowing to Blood Canticle Lestat reprimanding the audience directly, just Anne finding something to be irrationally angry about and writing it into her book. I've said before that QotD is a step below IWTV and TVL because the cracks in her writing really start to drag the book down like they would for the rest of the series to a rather extreme degree. Knowing this was her last book with an editor, I'm curious how much of the overall readability of the book can be attributed to that/how far gone Anne already was at this point.

In spite of all that, it is kind of fun to go balls to the wall and take a Hell Yeah Get Them mentality when Akasha goes scorched earth because despite it all, it's sort of cathartic to watch a overpowered female vampire go on the warpath and scream all the deepest frustrations with patriarchy that many women struggle with. At the same time, it's hard to fully enjoy it knowing authorial intent (and reading it all within the context of the sexual violence Akasha perpetrated with Anne's usual lack of nuance). That's kind of par for the course though, most things in VC are Almost Good and that's what keeps us on the hook.

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Characters as the Twelve Olympians

[Spoilers throughout! Please assume that each entry will contain spoilers for the character mentioned through the most recent book for that character--aka, spoilers for Rhythm of War in the Navani entry, spoilers for Warbreaker in the Blushweaver entry, etc.]

Hey look, I’m using my Classical Studies PhD for something! :D Anyway, here’s my take on which Cosmere characters would be best suited to take on the roles of various gods from the Greek Pantheon. And yes, there are 13 here since like everything in Greek mythology, the canon members of the Olympic Pantheon are disputed. 

1. Zeus: Gavilar (Stormlight Archives)

Zeus is the head of Olympian gods, the king of kings, and a Grade A jerk-ass who is often cruel to his wife, lovers, kids, etc. Gavilar has a lot in common! In the Theogony, Zeus ends a generations-long war among the gods through force and cleverness, much as Gavilar “unites” Alethkar. Zeus is held up as the emblematic king, and Gavilar is now a kingly symbol as well. Yet in his private life, Zeus is a total asshole to his wife Hera and is cruel to any of his kids that he sees as “flawed” (like tossing Hephaestus right over the side of Olympus). Gavilar is abusive towards Navani and not a great father either. So in terms of both accomplishments & flaws, Gavilar would make a great Zeus. That’s not a compliment.

2. Hera: Jasnah (Stormlight Archives)

[Note: the relationships among the gods are disregarded for this list! I’m not saying Jasnah is married to her father!]

Hera is the queen of the gods, and she does tend to get a bad rap in mythology; most of her stories are about her jealously tormenting various women whose only crime is being assaulted by Zeus. But in general, Hera is a protector of women and a standard of femininity: in her cult and in her statuary, she is regality and femininity personified. Jasnah is always meticulous in her presentation and looks like the ideal Alethi woman. In her scholarship she promotes and protects women, but she is also no stranger to resorting to violence when she deems it necessary--sometimes violence that others may feel is too far. Like when she kills a bunch of criminals to teach Shallan Philosophy or when she literally has an assassin on retainer, planning to kill Aesudan. Jasnah may not act out of jealousy as Hera usually does, but both of them are perfectly willing to kill in service of larger aims. Also, much as Hera has a bad reputation, so too is Jasnah denigrated as a heretic. And finally, Jasnah is now literally the queen.

3. Poseidon: Queen Fen or Kaladin (Stormlight Archives)

Man, I really had a hard time with Poseidon, god of the sea and patron of sailors. In terms of the sea-faring aspect, Queen Fen felt the closest: she rules a coastal city and is literally a patron of sailors. So she works in a literal sense.

If we’re thinking of Poseidon more as “the other powerful one” (since Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades are the three brothers who divide control of the world) and as the “earth-shaker,” then I could see an argument for Kaladin. Kaladin is closely associated with the Stormfather, who does all of the earth-shaking and storm-brewing on Roshar, and Kaladin rides his storm. But mostly, I’m not gonna lie, I just think it would be funny for Kaladin to be the god of horses. 

4. Demeter: Raboniel or Rlain (Stormlight Archives)

Demeter is the goddess of agriculture, so Raboniel was probably not your first thought. But listen, the Hymn to Demeter concentrates on how Demeter reacts to her daughter Persephone being taken by Hades. Demeter first searches frantically, then simply halts all agriculture until Zeus is ready to negotiate. And when I think of someone who will do literally anything to help her daughter, no matter who might be harmed in the process...I honestly think Raboniel, who created a god-killing weapon that could be used against her own people in order to end the suffering of her daughter. Plus, Demeter is both someone who halts all agriculture, dooming humanity, but also tries to turn a baby into a god in thanks for a human family’s hospitality. And Raboniel too is both ruthless and oddly generous to those she respects, as her relationship with Navani demonstrates.

Or there is Rlain, who is currently helping the people of Urithiru figure out how to farm through singing, much as Demeter taught agriculture to Triptolemus. Plus, Rlain lived among the humans as a spy, which reminds me somewhat of Demeter living among the humans while pretending to be one. And Demeter does try to bridge the human-divine gap by turning baby Demophon into a god, and Rlain is trying to bring humans & singers together. 

5. Aphrodite: Blushweaver (Warbreaker)

Aphrodite is the goddess of love and sex, and Blushweaver really is the obvious counterpart here. Like Aphrodite, Blushweaver is a gorgeous, well, goddess who is open about her sexuality and who embraces pleasure. Especially in her Roman incarnation, Aphrodite is also a guide and supporter for her heroic son Aeneas, which is somewhat similar to Blushweaver’s role in getting Lightsong to, well, get off his ass and do something. Finally--and forgive me in advance--in the Iliad Aphrodite tries to get involved in the Trojan War and it goes badly for her, and Blushweaver also meets a bad end after trying to be involved in martial politics. Although, like, Aphrodite just gets stabbed in the hand and Blushweaver dies so the two aren’t that similar. 

6. Athena: Azure or Jasnah (Stormlight Archives)

Athena is the goddess of war and wisdom--so more like strategy and cunning in war, rather than sheer violence (for that, please see Ares below). Athena leaps fully formed from Zeus’ head, already fully armed, and is the patron of heroes like Odysseus. From the perspective of her men, Captain Azure just sort of appears and seizes charge of the city guard, and she uses both good strategic sense and fighting prowess to protect the city. She also dominates in the traditionally male field of warfare and helps out a bunch of men, which are things Athena also does.

But I also want to recognize that Jasnah would make a good Athena if I hadn’t already used Jasnah for Hera, which is my personal preference. Jasnah has the intelligence, the wisdom, and the sheer fighting prowess (she fights on the front lines in one book). Jasnah also nourishes a hero (Shallan) which again suits Athena.

7. Artemis: Shallan (Stormlight Archives)

Artemis is the goddess of the hunt and of wild nature. The “hunting” aspect first drew me to Shallan, considering that as a member of the Ghostbloods, Shallan is always hunting something or someone. Shallan also has a keen interest in nature, studying cremlings for fun, going on archaeological missions to the Shattered Plains, and being sad when that chasmfiend that was trying to eat them died. Artemis is also no stranger to bloody violence, like when she turned Acteon into a deer to be torn apart by his own dogs (ouch) because he spied on her bathing. And Shallan is no stranger to poetic justice, as when she strangles her own father with the necklace he gifted her. 

8. Apollo: Lightsong or Renarin (Warbreaker, Stormlight Archives)

Apollo is the god of light, music, prophecy, and healing. I have to use Lightsong here given that his name SCREAMS Apollo--light and song! Plus, Lightsong has the powers of prophecy and of healing, and he is a fan of beauty and luxury. Lightsong is also super hot, as Apollo (knows that he) is. 

Renarin is another character who possesses both future sight and healing powers, which is an Apollo-esque combo. I will say that I don’t see as much of a match personality-wise between Apollo and Renarin, since I like Renarin whereas Apollo does things like curse Cassandra for not having sex with him and hunts Daphne until she has to turn into a tree to escape. Like, Renarin literally would never. 

9. Ares: Dalinar or Vin (Stormlight Archives, Mistborn)

Athena is the god of strategy in war, whereas Ares is the god of combat itself, in the sense of sheer, unrelenting, somewhat mindless violence. Honestly, the Thrill in the Stormlight books would be a good approximation of Ares’ power: it gives a person incredible fighting prowess, but with no real sense of any larger concerns of strategy or logic. So Dalinar as a fighter who understands and has embraced the Thrill would make a good Ares--a more tempered one than the Ares of mythology, if we’re being honest. And in a similar vein, Vin is also very, very good at wreaking incredible havoc. She slices through entire armies, cuts people in half with swords, kills a god...she would also make an excellent Ares. And since Vin basically has godlike status as of Mistborn Era 2, she’s nearly in this role already!

10. Hephaestus: Navani (Stormlight Archives)

Hephaestus is a craftsman god, especially blacksmithing and metalworking. He also has an unhappy marriage, as he is married to Aphrodite who barely gives him the time of day in most stories (she’s busy getting it on with Ares). Navani is an inventor of fabrials and a patron of others. She’s the one who manages to invent god-killing weapons in Rhythm of War, which is very Hephaestus-coded. She’s also no stranger to an unhappy marriage with a spouse who mistreats her. Finally, one little story about Hephaestus in the Iliad is how he keeps the peace among the bickering Olympians, which is reminiscent of how Navani has to keep the peace among the Alethi nobility back when Gavilar used to leave all of that to her.

11. Hermes: Hoid (all books)

In the Hymn to Hermes, Hermes is a trickster figure with one goal in mind: getting admitted to Olympus by any means necessary. And he does this by tormenting Apollo with various tricks, all the while taking advantage of the fact that he just born yesterday--how could Hermes the innocent little baby do anything bad?? Anyway. Hoid is also a trickster figure who loves disguises and false names and doing whatever is necessary to get what he wants. Hermes is also an inventor and storyteller, and Hoid has those qualities as well. Finally, Hermes in other iterations is a guide, someone who can lead a hero through dark places. And Hoid takes on that role too, guiding people like Shallan or Kaladin through some of the darkest periods of their lives. 

12. Hestia: Rock (Stormlight Archives)

Hestia is the goddess of hearth and home, and she’s associated with the fire in the hearth. To me, this is reminiscent of Rock whose stew is the central place of belonging for Bridge 4. Rock also does not fight--and neither does Hestia, who is one of the few gods who lacks any mythology about vengeance or violence. Instead, Hestia is the deity who makes sure you have a home.

13. Dionysus: Adolin (Stormlight Archives)

Dionysus is the god of wine, indulgence, and gender fuckery. And I know the obvious candidates for a Dionysus are the Returned from Warbreaker, but I’ve already used them. And I think I can make a case for Adolin! Adolin likes his wine and his women, and thanks to his relationship with his mom, he acts in ways that seem unmasculine to the Alethi--like being more physically affectionate and emotive. And Dionysus too had an un-Greek heritage that made the Greeks read him as foreign in the Bacchae. Plus, Dionysus does ultimately end up in a stable relationship with Ariadne, much like Adolin with Shallan. Finally, Dionysus is something of a shit-stirrer; when he shows up in Bacchae he turns that town upside down. And let’s not forget how Adolin murdered a high prince and is one of the few main characters to have not bonded a spren. He goes his own way. Sometimes violently. But mostly he knows what he likes and he’s not afraid to show it.

[exammole]

My changes to Miraculous (plus my thought process)

Part 1: Magic System

For context, although I am a fan of Miraculous and know what happens in it. I’ve never watched the series past season 3 Miracle Queen. But I still want to rewrite this show, it had a lot of potential that was wasted.

Kwami are cool, and although they’re massively important to the story I feel they’re also massively wasted. I also have issues with a lot of the powers as some blatantly copy off of and overshadow the main 7, and some are also stronger than the main 7 too (looking at Fluff and Longg). And I find the threat of Kwami using their power without a holder under-utilised.

The easy and probably better answer is to scrap the Zodiac Kwami entirely. But as I like some of them I’ve elected to making the zodiac more situational and the 7 more stronger.

The way it works in my version is that since the 7 main Kwami have had centuries longer to adjust to their forms; they have the ability to be flexible in what their powers can do, given if their holder trains enough. The 12 Zodiac Kwami who are just now being given physical forms, have far weaker powers. That being said, the general rules Kwami follow in the show (cannot be seen with technology, phasing through walls ect.) all still apply.

If I add the handicap that Kwami’s can’t use their powers without their holders because it’ll cause a catastrophe, it’s not going to be treated as a joke because Kwami are literal gods now.

Also all Kwami have passive abilities, which are powers that can be used without triggering the time limit. I feel most of them are understandable except for Know, Know is basically a 6th sense type of power that lets to sense emotions and vibes.

Tikki: Kwami of Creation

With minimal training, her holder can create objects (although what object is made is random).

With sufficient training, her holders can control what object they create.

With experienced training, her holders can create living things. More energy is used to create more complex life.

Tikki also has the passive ability of Fly

Plagg: Kwami of Destruction

With minimal training, his holder can destroy objects (although the level of destruction cannot be controlled)

With sufficient training, his holder can control the level of destruction.

With experienced training, his holder can increase their own strength by destroying other objects.*

Plagg also has the passive ability of Climb

Nooroo: Kwami of Transmission

With minimal training, his holder can spectate from one place to another

With sufficient training, his holder can communicate from one place to another

With experienced training, his holder can send things from one place to another

Nooroo also has the passive ability of Flight

Wayzz: Kwami of Protection

With minimal training, his holder can create shields*

With sufficient training, his holder can create multiple shields at once*

With experienced training, his holder can change the shape of theur shield*

Wayzz also has the passive ability of Shield

Trixx: Kwami of Perception

With minimal training, his holder can create small and simple illusions.

With sufficient training, his holder can create larger scale, complex illusions.

With experienced training, his holder can alter various other sences (hearing, smelling, etc.)

Trixx also has the passive ability of Dodge

Pollen: Kwami of Action

With minimal training, her holder can stop a target from doing something.

With sufficient training, her holder can freeze a target in place

With experienced training, her holder can force a target to do something.

Pollen also has the passive ability of Flight

Duusu: Kwami of Emotion

With minimal training, her holder can enchant an object with powers.

With sufficient training, her holder can change anothers form from the enchanted object.

With experienced training, her holder can create a living being with an enchanted object.

Duusu also has the passive ability of Know

Note, since Creation and Destruction are the strongest, it takes longer for the holders to use their powers effectively. I think that’s a reasonable natural handicap, and it makes it more interesting to see how Ladybug and Cat Noir manoeuvre around a battle.

With the zodiac as I mentioned before; I scaled down their powers to make them more situational, and they don’t have as much creative leeway in what their powers can do. As well as they don’t appear until much later into the rewrite.

Mullo: Kwami of Division

Allows the holder to divide into smaller copies of themselves.

Mullo also has the passive ability of Dodge

Stompp: Kwami of Unionisation

Allows the holder to absorb people into themself, becoming a giant collective.

Stompp also has the passive ability of Shield

Roaar: Kwami of Acceleration

Allows the holder to increase their speed to lightning fast levels.

Roaar also has the passive ability of Run

Fluff: Kwami of Abduction

Allows the holder to store items in a pocket dimension indefinitely.

Fluff also has the passive ability of Jump

Longg: Kwami of Composition*

Allows the holder to change their body composition.

Longg also has the passive ability of Flight

Sass: Kwami of Intuition

Allows the holder to see into the future.

Sass also has the passive ability of Dodge

Kaalki: Kwami of Migration

Allows the holder to create gateways (different to portals)

Kaalki also has the passive ability of Run

Ziggy: Kwami of Gravitation*

Allows the holder to change somethings gravity

Ziggy also has the passive ability of Climb

Xuppu: Kwami of Derision

Allows the holder to interrupt another’s power.

Xuppu also has the passive ability of Climb

Orikko: Kwami of Rejuvenation

Allows the holder to heal a targets wounds/damage

Orikko also has the passive ability of Know

Barkk: Kwami of Position

Allows the holder to track a target.

Bark also has the passive ability of Run

Daizee: Kwami of Jubilation

Allows the holder to amplify another’s power greatly.

Daizee also has the passive ability of Know

These are the only Kwami in my rewrite, since Master Fu accidentally destroyed the rest like he did in the show. Other power sources would technically exist, but not to the scale of the United Heroez; only things like the Grimoire, Guardians, mage powers (referencing the comic), and the Prodigious apply.

I find the origins of the Kwami so interesting, and I’m so confused why the only mention of it is tucked away in some comic which may or may not even be canon?? So I want to have mages be somewhat important to the story. As for the Prodigious and the Renlings; I never watched any of the specials so I don’t have an opinion on them, I guess I find them interesting? Might as well add it in.

Grimoires:

Grimoires are books containing information about the Kwami, the Miraculous, and various spells. Only Guarduans and Mages can read Grimoires without having to translate the book, as they are Miraculous text.

Guardians:

Guardians are the scholars and protectors of the Miraculous. This title is earned through a ritual that grants a person the power to read Miraculous texts, and an extended life span. If willingly or forcibly renounced, they will lose all memories relating to the Miraculous, the Kwami, the Mages and the Guardians.

Mages:

Mages are the descendants of the man who created the first ever Miraculous. They have the power to read Miraculous texts, the unique power of creating miraculous, and having the power to perform spells naturally.

The Prodigious & The Renlings:

The Prodigious is an artefact made by early Mages and Guardians to see if they could create Kwami of their own, creating the Renlings as a result. However they were deemed too unsafe and hidden away forever. Renlings still have the same powers as they do in the special, able to turn into an animal that corresponds to a human value that the holder is possessing. (I’m looking at the wiki, I could be wrong).

Long Long transforms the holder into a dragon when the holder is exhibits Justice.

Ying Ying transforms the holder into an eagle when the holder exhibits Confidence.

She She transforms the holder into a snake when the holder exhibits Courage.

Tang Tang transforms the holder into a mantis when the holder exhibits Patience.

Xiong Xiong transforms the holder into a bear when the holder exhibits Calmness.

Hou Hou transforms the holder into a monkey when the holder exhibits Compassion.

Ma Ma transforms the holder into a horse when the holder exhibits Honour.

Hu Hu transforms the holder into a tiger when the holder exhibits Discipline.

In my next Miraculous rewrite post, I’ll be talking about the plot.

EDIT: I’ve ended up changing a few things, bcuz I’m lowkey making this rewrite up as I go along. I’ll mention them when necessary, but I’ll be adding a * to anything I’ve edited. Sorry for any possible confusion 😓😓

[divinekangaroo]

Thanks @palmviolet for tagging me!

How many works do you have on AO3? 154

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 900k

3. What fandoms do you write for? Peaky Blinders, Final Fantasy XII, Final Fantasy VII, Dragon Age II, The Professionals.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Interesting and not straightforward question: I've been writing since 2007 and only rebooted my fics to AO3 in 2023. I backdated them to time of writing rather than posting live into the current update stream. I was vaguely curious to see what *actually* attracts readers through the AO3 search engine. So, my current top five are all Peaky Blinders Tommy/Lizzie fics, and given my small followers list, everyone following me will probably already have read them!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do, and it’s my vain (both senses of the term) struggle with how to do it appropriately. I am conscious of how comments, particularly on an AO3 "archival" fic, can weight a reader's further interpretation/engagement of or with fic by that author, and that I'll never put so much time into comments as I do into fic.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? The fics I thought of picking for these two pretty much overlapped. Perhaps this shows just how I approach happiness – it’s moments, it’s never an ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Only old Dragon Age fics. Interesting period of time where any fic author that didn't unequivocally support the moral rightness of one particular character's opinions was targeted. Like: ok to write torture/rape fics of this character, but only if it was clear the author thought this character was morally right. Such a destructive troll.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I'll write sex, mostly as part of a larger arc rather than standalone smut; often it is a partial scenario rather than linear start-to-end event written in a rhythm to support a coherent wanking rise-to-climax read. I'm pleased if people find it pushes their buttons, but I'm also not bothered if it doesn't. I do approach smut as one of many possible lenses or frames for a character, however, so smut that detaches from character confuses me.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Sometimes but they have to feel really right. I think I tend more to fusion or pastiche (I think those are the terms?) rather than crossover: I take a particular character concept/theme and port them into a particular environmental context which is not possible in the canon to see what happens. The only one I still have up is a FFXII/Dragonriders of Pern fic (incomplete) which was going to be all about the horrible knowledge of socially accepted and endorsed ritualised rape and forced feminisation of a character.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I'm not that popular to notice.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I have a memory of one in FFXII but can't recall.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! Taught me a lot, including the kind of writer I am - difficult to collaborate as my push to complete within a motivational urge period will always be greater than a long-haul effort, and I struggle to be available for other people. I’m either good at the front end ideas-generation, or a micro detail ‘write this particular thing/scene and fill it with goodness’, and not very good at the middle bit – the long slot of planning and plotting and aiming for consistency etc. I am so grateful fandom exists to support non-traditional prose formats which let me play with writing and thinking and engagement without needing to produce to book-style production standards.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship? I usually fixate on a character, and pairings allow means to explore that character rather than being an end game.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Oh they all carry this potential. *cries* The issue for me is loss of motivational drive/thinking; because I rarely have good structural notes etc if I lose my immediate thread of 'thinking of everything all at once' I find it hard to pick up again later. I also stop some fics because I realise how ambitious the scope really is, and I feel like I can’t do them justice.

16. What are your writing strengths? Speed-sketcher? Completionist? Tests multiple ideas rapidly and freely and never worries about something 'being wrong' because there's always another fic to try? Intuitive gut level hits on characterisation here and there?

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Editing, pacing, I can't sustain long fic, I frequently move characters around like paper dolls for the sake of the cool and forget they need their own internal motivation.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I prefer the kind of cant-based/dialect-based approach which splices non-English terms fluidly into English dialogue, mostly because as a child of many migrants this has been my world experience. I do suck at writing this, hence my frequent use of cop-outs to say 'language shift here, meanwhile still writing in English'. But when it’s done well it hits so many of my sweet spots.

19. First fandom you wrote for? FFVII.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Anything in my Personal Favourites list: https://archiveofourown.org/series/3728710. (I'm still too close to Peaky Blinders to pick a fav, it'll take about five years of distance!)

[the-moon-will-mourn]

now i haven't finished the dream thieves yet (i'm like,,, 7 chapters away from finishing) and i think this may contain spoilers???? but i'm not too sure yet. i'm basically gonna word vomit. i'm sorry for not using any quotes, i wish i could but i only have the ebook version and a very limited storage space on my phone where i can only have ~two books downloaded

like a normal person, i enjoy listening to video essays, see what creators want to explain to their audience and leave with a certain view, try to come to my own arguments about certain points in the videos, see if i can apply some points to other aspects of my life etc etc. (this was the type of shi that helped me with my eng lit essays rip i miss alevels) and like a normal british citizen i looked up stuff about classism in the uk. in the end, i found a video essay about classism in general and how the ultra rich try to mimic being poor to get away from their hard issues that comes with being rich (which, frankly, is probably a lot less compared to someone who is working class).

recently, i was talking to my friend about specifics in the book about certain characters and i remember we went onto the convo of making music playlists for the characters. they said "it's gonna be hard for adam [...] cuz his whole thing is about being unknowable" and it always struck me with how unknowable he truly is when reading his character because his character is intrinsically linked to his working class background. (context: i'm a middle class child of immigrants who built themselves in the uk)

it's very clear the kind of social commentary stiefvater wanted to make using adam's character with how isolating and alienating it can be coming from a working class background trying to assimilate yourself into a society of those protected and privileged enough to not have any problems with accessing opportunities. how class is a huge obstacle between interpersonal relationships and feeling safe enough to be vulnerable with your issues with being working class. how difference in class can cause one-sided shame because of the meritocratic society we're living in. how, no matter how much money you earn or how many connections you can make, your attachment to your working class identity can be enough reason to aim for something supernaturally larger than yourself.

it's evident that other characters overlook adam's social class because he's a "self-made man" (or smth) and mainly because he's their friend: adam. however, when we get a chapter in his pov, class is a driving factor in how he interacts and views everyone. we can see the privilege gansey and ronan have for being able to not even consider class as an intimidating aspect about themselves to a normal person, but it's everything to adam in the sense that he feels like his earned money doesn't give him access to a similar respect.

now that i truly think about it, it was a good idea for adam not to join them in monmouth manufacturing because it just feels like they're... mocking him in an indirect way? they have the ability to choose to live in a nice place and instead chose to live in a random, run-down building because it seemed aesthetic. adam was forced to live in a rundown trailer because that's all they could have afforded. i know gansey had good intentions for wanting adam to join them, but everything that he likes as an aesthetic (monmouth manufacturing, the run-down camaro, eating mint leaves instead of gum) can seem like he's flaunting the fact he can choose that lifestyle without any consequences.

back to the point of the meritocratic society (which we usually assume in books that take place in a similar world as our own) creating shame because of their class: the assumption that because someone has worked hard to earn what they have gives them a right to be proud. but this is the opposite for adam as he fights with the fact that he could have maybe be seen as even more equal to gansey if he had just been born with wealth.

we can frame it as, maybe, despite gansey's desire to appear working class, it only broadens the distance between him and adam. it only worsens adam's difficult relationship with his class shame despite probably wanting to be more relatable or even laid-back.

when reading the second book after his sacrifice, i was confused as to why adam was so un-adam-like. i mean, in the first book i didn't really understand him because of his huge insistance that his class makes him inherently inferior to everyone he surrounds himself with and i don't see class as an issue myself.

however, his sacrifice basically was watering the seed of ambition that was planted when he decided to aim for aglionby. it becamse clearer to me how much this opportunity to be superior, even if it's supernatural and terrifying, is important for him understanding in what he thinks he lacks. by those thoughts of what he lacks, he thought that this chance to be cabeswater's channel could be a way to compensate for his inferior social class. or something.

anyways, thank you for coming to my ted talk. this is not proofread, and my sister keeps nagging at me to shower. also i simp for gansey do not think this is me trying mischaracterising him i'm just trying to understand the theme of class in this series and having gansey as a figure to compare to is literally integral.

[nonsensicalsoliloquy]

Ooh, please tell me more about Alien Kylo and Broodmare Hux!

(from WIP FOLDER game)

Hello, my dear, thanks for the ask!! I’m both appreciative and not surprised by your interest in my ‘Kylux AU—Alien Kylo and Broodmare Hux’ XD

This WIP is actually where my response to this last sentence tag game came from!

-

First off, and most importantly, this is a filthy, ridiculous, purely self-indulgent PWP idea, and being both me and the fact I’ve let it sit in my head for well over a year, AND like 95% of that is STILL IN MY HEAD, it took on some attempts at sense and a touch of ‘plot’. Which is why ‘bullshitting alien medical science’ became much more of a thing than just because ‘this is reeeaaalllyy straining realistic credulity’ smut.

To be, uh, short:

General Hux and a group of his men were ‘captured’ after leaving a small, secluded FO base when they accidentally entered a corner of restricted space and, for the infraction, are to become a new batch of soon to be breeding hosts for a powerful and intelligent species who need compatible beings to both bear their young, as well as assist in heat cycles where the eggs they lay are not to be fertilized but need a partner to lay them in. (Alien) Kylo is (and comes from a family line) high up in the wealthy and influential ranks, so he’s one often offered first pick of partners when new batches (in his city) are ready. He doesn’t always take them up on it, but this time he does, as he’d had his eyes on Hux since they arrived.

Thus Hux’s new life takes on a second layer. Not just an alien species’ broodmare, but that of a seemingly high-ranking member of their elite.

Aaaaand…yeah. That was pretty much the initial PWP oneshot idea. The plot growth part developed more of Kylo’s background (just a tad) as well as his interest in Hux; some of the observations, experiences, and a bit of past for Hux; the ‘medical bullshit’ background for the hows and whys this is/can happen; as well as a future beyond that evident smut-a-palooza.

To be.. a little longer:

So, Alien Kylo here is not related at all to his canonverse background. There is still the Force, though it’s not touched on much, and his family line, etc. does still exist in a sense, but if you had to apply it in some form of vague parallel with ‘canon’, it’s a little more along the lines of Naboo/Kylo Amidala au stuff.

I haven’t figured out a name for his species nor their planet yet, but they’re an old, huge, well-developed, and wealthy planet with big influence in both above and below board trades. i.e. they work with respectable people in the Core and people like the First Order. One of several reasons for this is because they’re a prominent source of and power in medical research and development fields – not only for themselves, but numerous other species. This being because, a millennia(?) or so ago, their race was facing growing infertility issues, ones that could threaten to drive them to extinction.

In Kylo’s species, both males and females are capable of impregnating and being impregnated. They also are a species that lay eggs in their partner’s’ wombs (during heat periods with no intention to fertilize, as well as when wanting to do so). While working toward figuring out the reasons for the fertility decline, plus obviously helping their own, they simultaneously searched to find compatible species to serve as surrogate wombs.

One of the few compatible species are human males.

As for the appearance of Kylo’s species, they’re Dragon-like, though still not fully ‘developed’ yet in my head. Larger than your average human for sure, but typically not so much so that it’s outlandish. Kylo, of course, is larger than his usual, in both height and breadth. Their species is humanoid in form and relatively so in features; with things like a set of horns, longer tongues and sharper teeth, retractable claws and areas with scales and a change in skin color/tone/toughness, and sometimes eyes with black sclera. Also, of course, their (male) dicks are usually on the huge side and ridged (in all the 'right' ways XD) and they don’t really have testicles so much as a smaller sac/pouch in that general area that expands somewhat with eggs when in heat and preparing to lay them in a partner.

OH, on a filthy side note to the filthy filth: all ‘breeding partners’ are arranged in rooms where the walls are lined by, essentially, fancy glory holes. For all the crew to stick their asses out of for these alien VIPs (at first) to make use of. Yuuup… There will be SOME TAGS on this thing when it’s done.

Soooo… yeah. That was a lot of ‘teaser’ for what’s supposed to be a ridiculously self-indulgent, stupidly filthy PWP. Honestly, I got way too into those hows and whys with regard to the alien biology nonsense. Probably a bunch of stuff that won’t even end up in the fic whenever I get around to actually finishing it (or just writing more than a few freaking paragraphs :'C ).

Thank you again! :D

[decomposited]

ANATOMICAE

This post is supposed to be a (hopefully) thorough breakdown of the physiology and anatomy of segments and a primer for their general functions. Not required reading, but I thought it would be interesting to record my headcanons and theoretical biology ramblings somewhere for easy reference. And besides, reading through is likely easier than taking one of them apart yourself. The contents here will potentially be updated or edited as new ideas come to mind.

I. INTEGUMENTARY SYSTEM

The integument, in this case, refers to the skin, hair, and nails, and the structures associated with them. Segments do (perhaps surprisingly) have “real” genuine human skin, hair, etc. It is derived from a human source, but not anyone unwilling. The organic components of all segments are directly cultivated from the original Dottore’s various “donations” and therefore at a base level all share the same default genetic profile. This results in them, for the most part, having the same phenotype (skin/hair color, eye color, etc.), barring any mutations or epigenetic changes while growing (or any bodily modifications made later).

For context, when speaking about parts being grown vs built, some of their organic parts are cultured separately in tanks (think of an oversized specimen jar) as a unit, whereas others are grown on top of their skeletal frame (which we will be addressing shortly) in their own independent holding tank.

Much like humans, the nature of their skin results in the same sorts of properties and identifying features: scars, birthmarks, freckles, moles, etc. Scarring is rarer due to the usage of panacea for more detrimental injuries when available, but more minor (and perhaps major) wounds can leave behind scars if allowed to heal normally. Without any additional help, they heal at about the same rate as an ordinary human being. 

II. SKELETAL SYSTEM

The skeleton of segments is made of metal, or more specifically titanium. Because of this, it is extremely sturdy, and resistant to corrosion and chemical interference. Basically as strong as some steels but less dense and therefore less heavy. It’s very hard to break their bones, so adjustments for intentional access exist (for example, a locking hinge system on the ribcage so it can be opened). Going for the joints is the most easily accessible option for dismemberment or dismantling.

Speaking of the joints, they are shaped and perform about how you would expect human ones to do so. However, an important caveat is the existence of powered systems to exert more force, independent of muscle involvement. Smaller joints have “electric” (loosely) actuators, converting energy from stored panacea into movement. Larger joints associated with carrying more weight have hydraulic actuators. The hydraulic fluid used to power those motors (and other fluidic systems) will be covered in the circulatory section. 

III. MUSCULAR SYSTEM

Normal muscles here, folks. Sorry to disappoint. Nothing particularly special, because like the skin, they’re grown from existing cells. The key point is that they handle all lesser or more delicate motions in the usual manner (muscles moving skeleton), but if more intense force is required, they can switch to relying on the actuators in the skeleton, which results in it moving on its own and pulling around the muscles instead. Most of a segment’s strength is reliant on the skeleton rather than their muscle mass. 

IV. CARDIOVASCULAR SYSTEM & CIRCULATORY SYSTEMS

The heart is one of the organs that has a mechanical replacement, and is arguably the most important one. Quite a few things need to be pushed around the body, so an organ that could both handle the strain and exert the requisite power was required. It is located where one would typically expect a heart to be, and acts in association with the lungs.

Segments have a synthetic blood replacement, which works similarly to human blood in the sense that it carries out essential processes (moving nutrients and oxygen, removal of metabolic waste products) throughout biological portions of the body. Visually, it looks quite similar to normal human blood, being red in color, but an observant individual might notice it looks particularly dark, even before it dries. The shade is a very deep red, almost approaching black, and upon drying it turns fully black, rather than rusty red or brown. It coagulates somewhat faster than human blood, but not anything too dramatic. Since they don’t have bone marrow, they don’t produce blood cells naturally. Instead, they have an accessory organ that manufactures the blood and replenishes their system when they are running low. This blood organ (if we wanted to call it that) is somewhere in the abdominal cavity.

Outside arteries, veins, and capillaries, they also have very fine tubing for carrying other materials around the body, like hydraulic fluid or panacea. These can easily be differentiated by the differing colors of the contents and the fact that they are more heavily concentrated around mechanical features of their anatomy. 

Since having hydraulics means there has to be a reservoir and pump for that as well. The main pump is attached to the heart. It is part of a closed system, only handling hydraulic fluid rather than interacting with the usual heart functions. It pumps fluid independently of the heart beating. The hydraulic fluid reservoir, meanwhile, is located near the liver. 

V. RESPIRATORY SYSTEM

Two lungs, one on each side of the heart. For completely sensible reasons, the segments do actually have to breathe. That is mainly a side effect of their partly organic nature, but also does a lot of work to make them appear a bit more convincingly “human”. The lungs are enclosed by the pulmonary pleurae. 

VI. NERVOUS SYSTEM

They have a human brain stored inside the skull (where it is supposed to be). Don’t ask how he pulled it off, but Dottore somehow managed to copy his brain, in detail, without destroying it entirely. Since all the structures are identical, the segments share the memories of the original, up until the moment their brains were “finished”. Because of that, their individual paths (and the connections their neurons made) began to diverge from the template when they became conscious and started existing independently. 

Most nervous structures are matched or equivalent to the human body simply because of their inclination to grow in that way, but there are also sections where they blend into wiring and vice versa to make sure that signals are shared appropriately. The spinal cord is enclosed inside the spinal column, and still serves as a connection between the central and peripheral nervous systems. 

Internally, some areas and systems are less innervated than others, in order to minimize pain and discomfort during typical (or extracurricular) investigative procedures and maintenance. Their skin and underlying layers of muscle and fascia are perfectly capable of feeling pain as deeply as any other person. The exterior of organs, however, tends to feel sensation more neutrally, rather than indicating visceral pain. 

VII. OTHER ORGANS

Included in the “basic organ systems” package is a digestive tract, albeit slightly more efficient than normal. They don’t need to eat as much/often as an average human in the same height/weight range. Nutrients derived from food contribute to keeping all the organic parts going, but considering how much is mechanical, they could likely remain functional for a decent amount of time before expiring from starvation. Abdominal organs are enclosed in the peritoneum (a membrane that forms the lining of the abdominal cavity) as would be typical in a human. Filtering/processing organs like the liver and kidneys are mechanical.

While they have secondary sex characteristics (that affect appearance and external traits), they don’t have internal reproductive organs. How they present, and what that even means is dependent on the segment. 

VIII. MISCELLANEOUS

Teeth/gums/tongue/other mouth stuff are natural(ish). The core of the teeth and the part that’s attached to the skull is all metal, but they have enamel on top to correct the appearance. This means they have a powerful bite strength. Use this information responsibly.

Additional body modification is typical among segments, and not frowned upon so long as they don’t physically alter the brain or certain other components. They have a tracking chip located somewhere, and that may or may not also function as a self-destruct switch. They specifically aren’t allowed to mess with that. Some segments are more interested in becoming more mechanical than others, or trying out other additions. Epsilon himself is extremely close to the “base” default build. 

Mechanical organs usually have a small glowing piece somewhere on them to indicate how much energy they have in reserve. Think of it as a bit like a rectangular HP bar. Full is optimal. The shorter the glowing section gets, the closer they are to needing a recharge (or more specifically, a panacea refill).

They do have immune systems (but don’t ask how that works). They’re very carefully calibrated to be strong without being too eager in attacking parts of themselves. So they can get sick, but unless it's something very virulent, they'll likely clear it. There is also the possibility that their bodies might occasionally sequester particularly resilient invading organisms and end up carrying them latently.

Segments don't age, exactly. They shed and replace cells, but their telomeres are modified in such a way that they appear to exist indefinitely as the same age they were "born" as. 

As a side effect of having a human brain, they also have to sleep. They should probably get as much as any other person, but that is extremely unlikely. 

[captain-joongz]

Notes to chapter 2 of Dragonheart

Dictionary

atmokinesis - the ability to control the weather by calling for rainfall or storms

白虎; baihu (chin.) - in the story known as stripes or the kingsguard, the mythological concept of the white tiger is the same as the azure dragon's. the white tiger is considered one of the four daoist guardian spirits, he guards the west and he is connected to autumn, metal and death. and much like the azure dragon, it is also an important constellation

(depiction of the white tiger from Goguryeo period tomb mural)

玄武; xuanwu (chin.) - the third of the fourth guardian is the black tortoise (also sometimes called the dark warrior - it's the literal translation of the characters). it's sometimes depicted with a snake wrapped around it. in the story it is known as the shadows or the unit of secret intelligence, but in real chinese mythology it is considered the guardian of north, it's connected to winter and water

(depiction of the black tortoise and a snake from a Goguryeo period tomb mural)

Just a tiny detour into a general overview of Chinese cosmology

Feel free to skip this if you're not interested, it just gives a little more context about the concepts I use in my story, but I understand it can be a little overwhelming or confusing - if you have any questions (about how this connects to the story or just about the concepts and mythology alone) feel free to send me an ask and I'll do my best to explain everything to you!

Chinese cosmology is what you'd call correlative - everything is somehow interconnected and it creates a complex confusing system of things that are all linked together by larger concepts - it's a living organism, a hive if you'd like

I touch on the subject of the Great four Guardians - that is a daoist concept mostly, though it melts into a bigger confucian cosmologic concept of correlation and wuxing 五行 - the five phases

as you can see on the picture below (please ignore my very much "graphic design is my passion" level of skill with Canva), there's an over-arching theme (either a season, a colour or one of the five phases) and there's a slew of things connected to them (tastes, senses, organs, flowers, planets, mountains, etc.)

for example - the colour red is inviolably connected to south, summer, fire, the pheonix, lotus flower, etc. - these things become symbols for those concepts

I use the four guardians (black tortoise, azure dragon, red sparrow and white tiger) as names of elite Academy units, these are the concepts that stand behind those four beings - the dragon is firmly the symbol of east, just as the white tiger is firmly connected to colour white and the concept of death

here is a slightly simpliflied overview that is more about the five phases than about the cardinal directions

these concepts go beyond just philosophy (though of course not perfectly) - for example spring is a yang season while autumn is a yin season - yang is the life power, and as it rises during the spring and brings the world back alive, it (ideally) should be illegal to kill young animals or execute prisoners, while autumn as a season that strenghtens yin and the world starts dying is the season during which you should hunt and plan executions (this is an ideal concept of the right rule)

why is the centre/earth kind of weird? - well, you see, China is a huge country with a super fucking long history, and these concepts didn't start out together but they were slowly built on top of each other as time went - that's why sometimes they kind of needed to force things to correlate to make it symmetrical - there's five cardinal points, but only four seasons, what do we do? we make up something so it works in theory. a lot of these concept evolved simultanously but under different schools of thought and then kind of merged together, that's why it's a little messy sometimes (ei. there the ox officially isn't a fifth guardian, but the centre is still connected to the animal of ox because there needs to be one)

who even are the five emperors and why do we care? - we kind of don't actually, these emperors are a very old concept called wufang shangdi 五方上帝 - "deities of the five directions/regions" - all of them are an impersonation or a manifestation of the concept of tian 天 (heaven). we can assume they were once worshipped, but to this day the only two emperors that kept their importance are the Huang-di and the Chi-di (Yellow and Red), the rest are kind of lost to time. Huang-di is to this day very important and one of the most known beings in chinese mythology, and an important patron to various daoist teachings and concepts, while also a deity that mythologicaly stands at the very beginning of chinese civilization (he was one of the five first fabulous emperors that ruled before the first dynasty). Chi-di has undergone a several transformations and is also known as Huo-di (fire emperor) or Shennong (the first husbandman and patron of agriculture), as Huo-di he is connected to Huang-di as his friend and companion during a famous mythological war, he is also the mythological fire-giver

this is a more detailed chart if you're interested, as you can see there's all kinds of shit like emotions, virtues, part of the body and such

the five phases - are they just the elements? - yes and no. In chinese wuxing actually means 'the five in movement, the moving five' - that's why it's more generally translated as phases. The whole concept behind wuxing is extremely convoluted and confusing, just know that they all move in a never ending cycle (water -> wood -> fire -> earth -> metal) and they react to each other (either purify or destroy each other) - as is shown on the picture below

this all also connects to chinese medicine (the organs correlation and the cycle of the five phases) - in the most basic terms (i myself don't understand this perfectly) - let's say you have a problem with your lungs - lungs are connected to metal, metal is destroyed by fire (as displayed in the chart below) - to remedy your sick lungs you need to eat bitter food (which is connected to fire and summer) - I just pulled this shit out of my ass, but this is generally how chinese medicine works in the broadest terms

this is all kind of like the most basic most surface stuff, trust me - chinese mythology is fucking insane and basically impossible to fully orientate in, China is huge and every region has different deities or different names for the same deities, some deities started off as something and then slowly evolved into like five different people or concepts and it's all very confusing (like the Chi-di - Huo-di - Shennong - they're all different deities while still being different versions of one deity, in some myths they are synonymous and in some two of those are in the same story as completely different people with different histories)

there are three main religions (daoism, confucianism, buddhism) that all have their own myths, concepts and deities that during the ages melted all together, not to mention that each of those religions have countless cults that each go their own way (especially daoism, that one goes crazy - like how did we go from 'dao is the endless flow of things and you need to trust it to lead you instinctually' to 'you need to eat these rocks and have sex in these positions to be immortal'??)

the history is long and ever-changing, different sources might tell you different things, also China has a history of manipulating the records and a lot of things were lost or rewritten, so some older concepts, rituals or deities are all just pure speculation or theories, because we can't really know what was really happening 3-4 thousand years ago

as times go certain concepts built on top of each other or try to one-up each other, so you start with one heaven and centuries later end up with like 10 layers that each has different guardians and concepts until you have no idea what's going on anymore

there are some over-arching myths and stories, but even those have thousand different versions

so, it's one of those topics that leave you more and more confused the more you study them - the more you wanna know, the less you actually understand

(with love, from a very tired Chinese mythology and philosophy student)

[script-a-world]

Submitted via Google Form:

I recently found out that a lot of surnames came about from occupations. I wanted to do something similiar for my sci-fi story. So, the surnames will also be in all different languages and everyone is multilingual anyway and I'm conlanging lots of languages too. Also, I don't like the 'family name' concept. It is a personal surname, your family doesn't have the same surname as you unless they're in the same job and chose to use the same language. If you change jobs, you can change your surname, if you have multiple jobs you can pick one or do a hybrid. Most children do not have occupations, so maybe their surnames are based on their schooling/apprenticing/desired occupation? There are exceptions of course, like jobless people, jobs that can't be mentioned like a spy, or people who constantly change jobs. Does this make any sense?

Utuabzu: It's not totally unreasonable. Plenty of cultures don't have surnames at all - many Indonesians, for instance, have just one name - plenty of others have additional names that work differently to what we are used to - traditionally, Arabic names are genealogies, sometimes going back many generations, and also include other information like whether the person has completed the Hajj, memorised the Koran, is descended from the prophet Muhammed, etc. - others still are geographic - this is where a lot of names preceded by 'de', 'von', etc come from, they originally just meant that someone was from or otherwise associated with that place. Roman names also included cognomen, names given or adopted by a person because of some notable feature or accomplishment, which is probably nearest to what you want.

One thing you should consider is that people tend to have relatively fixed names, particularly in larger and more densely populated societies, because it makes it easier to know who is who. There's a reason countries like Thailand and Japan forced people to adopt permanent family names in the 19th Century - it was to make it easier to collect census data and track people and know who is who and who they're related to. If people in your society only have a fixed personal name, and a constantly shifting occupation-name, people are going to have to find some way to clarify that when they mentioned Karen Baker, they mean Karen who lives three doors down and was Karen Butcher three weeks ago, and is the daughter of Karen Candlestickmaker.

In this case, patronymics (or matronymics) may be your friend. A patronym is a name that indicates who someone's father is (any English name ending in -son was likely a patronym), and they're pretty common in a range of cultures. Icelandic surnames are almost all patronyms (which is why most end in -son or -dóttir, and aren't inherited), and many Slavic cultures have patronyms in addition to family names (which is why so many Slavic people's names follow a pretty standard formula: [x] [y]evich/evna* [z] - [y] is the father's name, and evich/evna means approximately son/daughter). I don't know of any cultures that use matronyms off the top of my head, but it certainly wouldn't be unreasonable.

*spelling and exact phonology varies between languages. 

Licorice: Almost without exception, pre-industrial societies are interested in keeping track of who is related to whom. This is often due to concerns about inheritance and consanguinity. Who a person is related to is a thing that is known before their job or job class is known, unless they live in a society where jobs are inherited, which isn’t the case in the world you are building.

Naming systems are often used as a way of keeping track of relationships, though not always. In a small community where everybody knows everyone else, names denoting family relationships aren’t always necessary. 

If you haven’t done this already, I think it would be worth spending some time figuring out how your world got to the place where it is now, with everybody multi-lingual, well-educated, and  able to change jobs with some regularity. I’m also getting the impression that family ties or connections aren’t important to them, but I may be mistaken about that. A name is an identifier. Why, in their world, do people identify themselves by their work rather than by their relatives or by some other, perhaps less changeable, aspect of themselves? What historical factors have brought this about?

Feral: I agree 100% with points brought up by both Utuabzu and Licorice. I’d also like to touch on the last two situations - children and people either without a job or with a job that shouldn’t be public knowledge.

Licorice thinks that familial relationships maybe aren’t particularly important in your world. However, indicating the person responsible for the care of a given child, whether that is a biological parent or not, is going to be a much more valuable surname than “Preschooler” or “Future Unicorn Doctor”. Once they’re older, what we would consider a late primary school age, yes, stating that they are the apprentice of a specific master or even just in a particular fields makes sense because you can figure out who they go with - because children need to have someone to be responsible for their care and other adults need to know who that person is sometimes.

For a job like a spy, it would make sense for them to have a cover just like a real world spy would be. It doesn’t seem like Joe the Spy couldn’t get away with introducing himself as Carl the Tailor. 

Which brings up a question you need to decide on - who keeps track of all this? As part of their onboarding at a new job, do the citizens of this world have to submit a name change application? Is it based on the honor system? And if you have a name like Carol Sales Associate and you want to get out of retail, would your name cause you to be immediately discriminated against?

For people without a job, it seems like they would be incredibly marginalized. Would they actually be stripped of part of their identity because they got laid off? That seems cruel. And maybe your society is, that’s fine. I’m just saying, we have a very unjust society right now when it comes to financial instability, but this is really unjust, if possibly a little more honest.

[mercuryartes]

Art and Consent

Since the beginning of this year I have been debating how to proceed with my art online. Some may have noticed I have not posted art since January 1st despite completing a new batch of commissions and doing numerous art streams.

In the past, my art has been reposted on Facebook AND Instagram, and those are just the ones I know about.

Once upon a time I had a dedicated art page on Facebook. When my work was reposted, I asked the reposter Facebook group to simply share the same piece from my actual art Facebook page, in order to simultaneously get proper credit and also direct traffic generated from their larger group to my page. My requests went unanswered and ignored. As a result, I deleted my Facebook art page because there simply was no point. My page didn't get any views outside of immediate friends and the larger Facebook groups notoriously repost content even to this day.

For the Instagram incident, I reported the repost which did get taken down per my request to Instagram itself, and let me tell you it's exhausting. It's not exhausting in the sense that I had to jump through an arduous amount of hoops, but it's so emotionally draining and discouraging to have something you spent hours/days/weeks/etc of your life on just taken.

Now my art can be scraped, fed into generative AI, and regurgitated on a massive scale. Not just my art but my writing, too. I've made my works on AO3 private to try and lessen AI scraping, but I'm sure there's workarounds. Long past are the days where I could finish an art piece and post it online immediately. In order to protect my own work I have extra steps before I can share anything online. Nightshade it. Glaze it. Reduce the resolution. Cover it in watermarks.

Sabotage my own art so I can share it with others.

AI itself is not malicious, but it is being used maliciously, and the matter comes down to consent. Seeing a piece of art online DOES NOT MAKE IT YOURS TO DO WITH AS YOU PLEASE. Take any onboarding training for any company and I'm sure there will be a training course that is some flavor of "[insert company name] cannot use images/music/etc without rights to said image/music/etc" even if it is free, with exceptions for work that is free use.

Yet we have social media sites, the main source for independent and freelance artists to advertise and receive their work, ignoring the consent of artists and forcing opt-in models for their userbase. Independent and freelance artists cannot afford to NOT be online in this day and age.

So what do I do? Take the numerous extra steps to sabotage my art in order to share? Delete my art from social media, including some 18 years of art posts? Put all of my work behind a paywall?

It's so tiring and discouraging, y'all.

[marinersubmariner]

Ahsoka series thoughts

I wasn’t going to post this because most of the recent Star Wars stuff gets worse upon reflection and it bums me out. Plus it’s all been said better elsewhere and the last thing the internet needs is more Star Wars complaining. But I also like reacting to what is basically the only fandom thing I ever think about on an ongoing basis! And I type it all out to myself anyway! So here you go. More Star Wars complaining. Bon appetit

I actually overall had a pretty good time watching this show, because there’s a deeply-ingrained part of me that simply likes hanging out in the SW universe. I AM, in fact, just here for the vibes. 😔✌️ Unfortunately that doesn’t tend to carry over into long-term affection for the Disney+ shows themselves, and the only series I find myself still caring about and thinking fondly of when it’s not immediately in front of my face is Andor (every part of that show but especially Luthen’s speech and the whole mood of that scene and how I felt watching it is STILL in my head.) Star Wars would be so good if it was good, etc.

On a visual level, for a Volume show it didn’t look too terrible for the most part. What it lacked in dynamic lighting or convincing realism it often made up for in atmosphere, and they did a better job on some of the larger environments. At least until the finale, which devolved into a bunch of plain rooms. I thought Seatos looked nice, that was my favorite new location—the moody red forest and the map hologram on the cliffside were really appealing. (side note: I had to google what that planet was called because it takes me a while to learn new places when they don’t put the names on the screen, and in my head I was picturing it spelled like C-DOS. GLaDOS’s cousin.)

I was REALLY thrown by Sabine training as a Jedi because it came out of nowhere and I don’t see how it fits her character, but I am otherwise generally a fan of the “anyone can be a Jedi” thesis. I know it’s controversial because by now it’s been very established that space wizardry is a highly selective genetic trait, and of course surprise superpowers aren’t as fun or special if just anybody can do it… but going all the way back to the OT I always felt like Luke’s journey had more of an everyman quality to it, that he chose to follow that path and he trained and he learned to tap into the Force. Some people are born to be better at it, some people are way too strong with it and have to learn to control it, but theoretically anyone can do it. The Force connects ALL living things, so it makes sense to me that anyone should have the ability to access it, even if that only manifests in faint or subliminal ways (“I have a bad feeling about this,” that old theory).

I’m just not convinced they should have gone this route for Sabine! Her relationship with Ahsoka still doesn’t make sense to me, they didn’t flesh it out at all and I can’t track it from what we saw in Rebels. And it also disappoints me that she did ultimately work out how to use superpowers because I enjoy the dynamic of non-Force sensitives who are nonetheless very narratively important, even when you mix them in with the magic users who tend to suck up all the story weight. I like it when the magic is a little more rare and unique and hidden (particularly in the OT and ST eras!), and as much as I love space wizardry, that mythic element seems to work a little better at movie scale than at tv scale.

So I’m kind of a big hypocrite when I say anyone can use the Force when I also still want it to be special and exclusive, lol. I guess logically I like Force usage to be all-inclusive (or at least have that potential) but narratively I like it to be rare. ???? IT’S CONDITIONAL, OKAY. I contain multitudes.

I still have a really hard time connecting to live-action Ahsoka and I don’t think she seems enough like her animated counterpart for me to feel emotionally invested in her. It’s just a lot of Rosario Dawson doing a Knowing Smirk and posing with lightsabers. It was especially stark in comparison to Ariana Greenblatt’s younger version, who seemed EXACTLY like animated Ahsoka—which admittedly is not a fair comparison because she was literally playing the animated version, but she got the voice and mannerisms down so well.

Really all the animated characters seem so thin, and while I did like Sabine and I warmed up to Hera, forcing this all into live-action has the two-fold effect of not being enough for people who are familiar with the cartoons (because we don’t need the Cliff’s Notes versions of their characters, we know them and their story, and this just seems like cosplay versions of them clunkily recapping us on how they know each other) but ALSO not being enough for general audiences who haven’t seen the cartoons (because who the hell are these thinly drawn characters referencing a bunch of backstories and events we’ve never seen??). It’s like, yes, I recognize them from the cartoons! But that recognition alone is not enough to carry an entire series! Whereas if they’d just gone ahead and made a sequel cartoon they could’ve actually made a plot and it wouldn’t feel like they spent all this time on what only amounted to setup for something else.

I DID, however, feel like Ezra was the most successful translation from animation to live-action—I loved him a lot and he felt most like his actual character to me. (well. him and Chopper. lol) I understand why they gave him a beard but I hope he ditches it, then he’d be perfect. I can’t even wish for them to do away with the colored contact lenses because I know they won’t, but obviously those are awful across the board. It’s so distracting for everyone to have dead doll eyes, but apparently cosplay accuracy is more important than staying out of the uncanny valley. “We have to literally give them these goofy-ass cartoon eye colors! Otherwise twitter will riot!!!”

I just do not understand why they would make this show with its entire main cast from the cartoons, that is a direct sequel to the cartoons… not a cartoon. (I mean, from a cynical standpoint I get it—they have a ready-made premise and characters to continue churning out live-action Star Wars Content™ in lieu of actually making any more movies. But I don’t LIKE it.) People who know the characters are distracted trying to do the mental gymnastics required to align new voices/faces/mannerisms/personalities with what they already know, and people who don’t know the characters are totally lacking any of the context that would allow them to care and not be bewildered.

They throw Thrawn’s name around soooo much before he shows up, they make such a huge fucking deal about Thrawn, and we’ve never seen Thrawn in live-action before so it has absolutely no meaning to anyone coming into this cold. Even for me, watching it as someone who knows who Thrawn is, it feels completely stupid to treat it like something that has so much weight in the universe when within this story he has never existed before now. You say a name ominously and this is supposed to matter? Why? Who cares? You’ve never even shown this guy. It feels like I’ve missed something even when I’ve watched everything there is to watch. There are ways to build suspense around an unseen character, but just saying their name a bunch without showing why anybody should care or where all this talk came from in the first place is not it. They’re not connecting these dots, and certainly not in a way that makes for a compelling viewing experience. None of these stories stand on their own anymore, it’s like it’s all just references piled on top of references. They’re so busy talking about past events and setting up future events that they’re not really bothering with current on-screen events.

I did think Thrawn’s intro scene had some pretty cool gravitas, but here’s where I admit that I don’t care about Thrawn. 😬 Now, GRANTED, I’ve only read the Thrawn trilogy and watched Rebels, so I don’t have any exposure to his other appearances in the current EU. But he irritated me SOOOO MUUUUUCH in the original books that I’ve never wanted to seek out more. He’s a stream of deus ex machina gotcha moments, “I’m always ten steps ahead of the heroes because reasons,” and I never found it interesting, it was always just annoying. “I study art so I know everything forever” uggghh shut up. But! At least that guy was competent! This version of a brilliant strategic mastermind written by dummies is even worse. He’s not intimidating at all.

And I mean, a good way to maybe get me to care about Thrawn would have been anything approaching fandom’s invented odd couple adventures for Thrawn and Ezra post-Rebels, but instead the implication here is that they have done absolutely nothing and have not interacted at all throughout their entire exile. Complete stasis for both of them. Like, I hate the vague tell-don’t-show of the Sabine and Ahsoka stuff, but it’s doubly boring to not even have the suggestion of anything happening in that intervening time period. What a transparently lazy way to shuffle Ezra and Thrawn off the board for the OT just to zip them back and pick up where they left off to fill in some dead space before the sequels.

That first shot of Enoch’s weird FACE HELMET was so bizarre I was really excited—the combination of gold and an unsettling molded face mask reminded me of Death Stranding, so for a second I was like omg weird Kojima Star Wars, holy shit. But it was really only one weird visual that wore off quickly. Just another different action figure, nevermind. And then I learned he was AMOS FROM THE EXPANSE so I just wanted him to take the mask off. Classic mask guys: I know you’re hot underneath there!!!!!!

I was enormously frustrated with the finale because, while I had decently enjoyed the journey, it really made it clear how futile it had all been and it wasn’t fun enough to overlook the emptiness. Ahsoka and Sabine facilitated the one thing they were trying to prevent and they’re fine with it. It was one long “To Be Continued” and like. I dunno. It would have been nice for a tv series to have SOMETHING within its scope that was being built to.

I liked Baylan and Shin a lot (new characters we’ve never seen before??!?!? who have cool outfits and cool vibes??!???!? LOVE IT) but toward the end I started to get irritated that we had no idea what Baylan was really up to and I assumed we would find out in the finale. Haha NOPE!! The lack of resolution makes it an even bigger bummer that Ray Stevenson is gone and they’ll have to recast to continue. From a logistical standpoint it just seems so odd and unbalanced that the season started with them and then by the end they only merit a few seconds of silent check-in without ever clarifying their reason for being in the story in the first place. (Obviously I see they’re bringing Mortis into this somehow [completely unclear to non-cartoon viewers!!!], but. What ABOUT it???? SHOW YOUR WORK)

Seeing the World Between Worlds was cool and I enjoyed the resultant Ben Solo clowning. :) (I also was comforted by seeing people excited about that, because my initial gut reaction was to be ANXIOUS AS HELL about them using up things I want for Ben on other characters. Noooo you should be saving that for my boy!!!! Please don’t chip away at my delusional hopes for the future, I need those to survive!!!!!!!) But the more Anakin’s corpse gets dragged out and bandied about the less sense it makes that they didn’t bother to use him in the sequels. You know, the conclusion to the saga about his family. The place where it would have made the MOST sense to use him. Nah. Anakin Skywalker throughout his entire life and afterlife: “Fuck them kids.”

I do think it’s cute to see Clone Wars-era Anakin and I’m glad we’ve progressed to a time where people appreciate Hayden. But I am also personally in dangerous territory of being like “I’ve had enough of this dude.” Between this and Obi-Wan suddenly Anakin is all over the place… while being markedly absent from the part of the story that features his legacy dooming all of his descendants. I don’t wanna be a person who holds a grudge against a fictional character for choices made by the writers, but I do find myself feeling more like “piss off, ghost!” because of TROS. If you’re gonna be an absentee father then GET OUTTA HERE!

Too bad Marrok was a nothingburger and went out like a total punk, because he looked so much like a Star Wars version of Rinzler I was losing my mind. Tron AU 4ever

Huyang was great, David Tennant has an excellent droid voice. And of course I loved the talk about Kanan 😭 But I’m bummed that lightsaber construction—!!!!!! one of my personally monumental longtime wishes for live-action Star Wars!!!!!—got rushed out in such an anticlimactic way on a mediocre tv series. Sigh. Glossed right over it just to cram another lightsaber in there for some bad action scenes. I actually liked Ezra only using the Force and Sabine only using a lightsaber so they had like a tag team “two halves of one Jedi” thing going on.

The zombie stormtroopers and their loud undead moaning were so stupid. I believed what the internet was theorizing, that all those troopers were dead to begin with, but I guess not? (I was really expecting that reveal in the previous episode with the group that got wiped out in the outdoor battle.) They were scarier and cooler as quiet automatons. The Spirit Halloween shambling zombie garbage really ruined it.

I was pretty intrigued by the whole “other galaxy” premise and the ancient artifacts/magic. I love the Zeffo aesthetic, and I love the Nightsisters so seeing the Great Mothers was really cool. But Peridea was such a dull environment it wasn’t as awe-inspiring as it seemed like it should have been. I did like the giant monuments and whale bones, and the crab guys were cute, but otherwise… not a lot going on. I know the universe is a big place and most of it is more likely to be dead and empty than not, but also. It’s a fantasy. And I wanna see COOL ALIEN STUFF and WEIRD ENVIRONMENTS.

I enjoyed the duels between Sabine and Shin—the first one on Lothal was particularly cool because as it was happening it dawned on me that, holy shit, is this the first time we’ve ever seen a live-action lightsaber duel between two women?!?! And I had to scan my memory banks to be sure. Sometimes… you spend so long in a dude-centric universe and become so desensitized to it… you can’t even tell when you’ve reached the light. 🤧 So anyway that was fun!! They also had some real copycat Reylo moments that made me laugh. (Shin threw Sabine into a tree!!!!1!1!)

The Purrgil were nice. :) I also liked that the Peridea boneyard had some brief glimpses of SPACE SHRIMP?? I did wonder as we were getting such an up-close look at Purrgil baleen if they actually ate space krill, and welp, I guess so. Just some regular whales in space. Star Wars was jealous that everybody’s favorite Star Trek is the one with the whales.

The “bokken Jedi” phrase Baylan introduced here is interesting to me because it’s nice to have something to describe a concept that I LOVE: the late-stage kids informally trained in the wild who have no idea what they’re doing. It’s something I’ve always enjoyed thinking about in terms of the sequels (see: one of my old meta observations that I’m most proud of!). The one thing I don’t love about it is more just straight-up copying Japanese words and concepts—just because Star Wars started that way doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it. :/

One unequivocally good thing I will say about this series is that I LOVED the music. The end credits in particular were awesome, I watched that all the way through every time.

The only things the finale left me looking forward to were Dathomir and whatever the fuck weird Force mythology they’re gonna get into, but I’m not exactly holding my breath about any of it. It’s not like they can make any sort of seismic shift since obviously the sequels still happen. ……Unless they break the Force so hard that they go full alternate universe………….. or they break it several years down the road right when Rey is born and actually cause the dyad to form… oh god

[inventors-fair]

Runners-Up: Punchlines and Punch-Ups ~

Our runners-up this week are @bergdg, @little-red-rabbit, and @real-aspen-hours!

@bergdg — Mad Dash

I blame you for inspiring me to look at Norman Rockwell’s history instead of starting commentary the other night. Like, wow, that guy had a lot of art in a lot of places and had a huge impact. The point isn’t that he’d be a Magic artist, though, so let’s think instead about the utility of this card. What I love is that if need be you can play it post-attackers and have that be just a regular buff for your guys. Or, you can goad your opponents into things! What I don’t like is that it still gives them the buff and keywords. What if instead, it made them attack and only gave them a buff if they were YOUR creatures?

As for why this card is here flavorfully, I don’t think there’s a particular world or place where this card would find a home. Instead, it’s a fantastic example of what it means to take the levity and translate it across the board. They need trample because of the lawns and gardens that they’ve trespassed upon! They need haste to move fast! And they’re forced to move, too! Is it exact? No, but it all makes sense and feels light. What else matters?

@little-red-rabbit — Alela’s Mischief Makers

I want to commend this card here for having such a dramatic and powerful mythic take the place of a lighthearted contest entry. Perhaps there is a subtle darkness to it! What happens to the farmers if their whole harvest goes missing for the sake of a prank? The black represents the taking, the blue the sneakiness, but it’s not insidious, not for selfish power, but just to mischief-make, indeed. It made me smile to think about this being part of a set and being part of a world where it fits.

The mechanical side is quite interesting as well; slowing all extra card draw means that you have to really work on how the hand works and where you’re allowed to control things. So, if you have this card, and then Consider/Opt at your opponent’s end step, you get to make a deck where you’re blasting through your control pieces and drawing everything you need to on your end step, instants with cantrips to get reactively, and it’s actually quite a strong control piece. Notion Thief comes to mind. As for the wording, the “When” should be “if,” “that many cards from the top...” etc. can just be “the top card” because it replaces each draw, and you’re missing an “of” in the end of the clause. Minor notes, though, and I grok what you need. FT can be a single sentence, and maybe this could even be a 3/2, but those are small pieces of a larger well-intended card I want to show off here.

@real-aspen-hours — Out to Lunch

FOOD AGAIN. Maro was right about having an Un-sequel that was all food-focused. Y’all are hungry this week. But, this is both a hint at what matters—maybe—and a great top-down card that I enjoyed having the little additive detail of. Where can we introduce a blink-with-a-food, or, what does that concept of being out to lunch mean in the metropolis of Capenna? I don’t know which one came first and it doesn’t matter. It’s a silly little uncommon, and I love blinking in general, so that’s just me enjoying myself. I wouldn’t make a contest around it, but I like it regardless.

What’s a second paragraph... Right, okay! The flavor text! One of the strengths of all the cards this week was a diversity of flavor texts and a clarity that I found refreshing. Some told stories in the fairytale sense, some made them out to be spoken (like you and just–a–penguin) by someone not related to the target, and there’s a simplicity to this one that lands for me. Now what indeed? I love the discrepancy between a massive aether-ripping excursion like in some blink spells and the simplicity of being out to lunch. That landed back on the battlefield for me, just so.

Commentary will be whenever I can do it, but it's gonna be a slow methodology. I'll let y'all know. Be good! @abelz